My surprise Bachelorette party!!!

My friends are amazing. I don't even know what to say!!! They surprised me with the best night of my life. Dressed me up for the 80's theme and I was Madonna's Like a Virgin!!! We had a delicious dinner at a Moroccan restaurant, learned to belly dance, and had a lot of fun! Then, we went to a local bar for some dancing and being silly girls! My girls surprised me with My honey, at the end of the night!! Such an amazing time!!! My girls truly out-did themselves!!! Words are not enough to thank them for all of the planning and every detail that was thought of for this night.

My bridal shower!

On Saturday, my moms and my girls threw me the most personal and amazing shower for our wedding. It was one of the most special days of my life. To have so many of my family members and friends in one room, all showering me with their love, was something I will never forget. The cake was amazing: My cousin Alanna made it; red velvet and a beach scene. The decor was carefully planned by my mom. The food was delicious and the gifts were extremely generous. I was overwhelmed with love. It only gets me more excited for our upcoming wedding!! Thank you everyone, for sharing in that day with me (and M).

Finally, some medical news!

So, today was my meeting with the doctor about my diagnosis. There is good news and bad news. The good news is that all of my test results for cancers such as lymphoma and leukemia were negative. The bad news is that I do have what is called Churg-Strauss Syndrome (CSS). This disease comes in three stages and I am in stage two: 1) Early onset asthma; 2) high eosiniphil count (which should only make up about 1% of the white blood cells in the body. When mine go up (when I am not on steroids), they get up to about 50% of my white blood cells; 3) Vasculitis. Since I am only in stage 2, the doctor is amazing and going to do whatever it takes to keep me here and not slip into the third stage when there are more complications. The other good news is that on the spectrum of CSS, I am on the low end and I do respond very well to steroids. I may be on roids for the rest of my life, so he will be doing monthly blood tests and yearly bone density tests, to ensure I am not at risk for more issues, such as osteoperosis, cataracts, vasculitis, heart issues, etc. There is a clinical trial which experiments with immuno-supressants and chemo-therapy related drugs (which would be once a month for the drug therapy/chemo), but he feels I should put that on the back-burner until after M and I have a baby in the next few years. The fear is that since it is a trial, it may mess up any chances of me conceiving or keeping a baby. So, we are okay with holding off on the trial. Who knows, maybe by the time M and I have a baby, there will be another trial, or the drug will have been approved and I can just get a script for the cure...here's hoping. Anyway, thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers today (and always). At least now, we have a diagnosis, and we can figure out where to go from here. I'm a fighter, so here goes!!! xoxo You can google Churg-strauss syndrome for more info from Hopkins, if you have questions.

Just some thoughts...

I am on spring break this week and taking some nice time for both myself and time with my honey. Times like this, really make me think about taking each day as it comes and being grateful for them. Yesterday, it was this beautiful day, about 55 degrees and sunny, and M and I had a pre-wedding photo shoot with our amazing photographer. It was during the shoot that it hit us, "We are getting married!!" And in that moment, without thinking of all of the planning and about all of our future endeavours, we were just so happy. Just walking on a beach, with random photos being taken of us, smiling, because today, we realized (although it's always been known in our hearts and minds) that we get to start our forever together. Each day will be one more in the path we set together. Very cool.

I have an amazing mother.

I know that when you are born, you are given a mother. I am so extremely lucky to have been given mine. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know and I am grateful I got even one tenth of what she has. She is a knowing soul and she feels with every piece of her being. She is continuously aware of the wonderful things in her life. What she doesn't often consider is that she attracts all of the goodness in her life because of the kind of person she is; one others only aspire or dream of becoming.

My mother is an angel; one who puts everyone elses needs before her own. One who I aspire to be even a shred like, forever. Her passion and guidance is what helps me to breathe everyday. I know that may sound extreme, but she truly has given me the strength to find the good in people, in situations, and in whatever life throws my way. Just knowing that she is my mother gives me enough confidence to help me face anything. I love my life. I am thankful for the people and events in my life. I feel positive and limitless because of my mom.

I shouldn't ask how I got so lucky as to get her for a mother, even though I think it every day. I know that she is MY mother, because that was what was supposed to happen. She was meant to give me this life and I intend to live every millisecond of this life possible. I do it with a smile on, just knowing she is my mother and the only one I will ever have. I love you mom; more everyday.

Why am I so hard on myself?

I find that I am my biggest critic. I am always trying to give 100% and learn more about myself, both as a person and as an educator, but whenever I falter, I am super hard on myself. Twenty people could say amazing things about me as an educator, but when I get a negative comment (or vibe) from someone about me, THAT is what I seem to focus on. Do any of you do this??

Apparently, it is a very common human reaction; that we get upset about the bad (or imperfect), as opposed to celebrating the good, the great, and the wonderful.

I get very frustrated with myself when I do this. It also reminds me that I still have room to grow. That is a good thing, as I learn more and get closer to who I want to be.

What I KNOW I am, is honest, real, and a nutcase. What you see is definitely what you get with me and people either love that or not. Confidence in myself has taken years to gain. I am a work in progress!!

New craziness!!

On the good side, my girlfriend just gave birth to a gorgeous little girl. Perfect in every way. Mom and baby are both healthy and feeling great!

On a health note, LabCorp (or LabCrap, as I affectionately call it) STILL has not given my results to the doctor, so I now have been postponed for our meeting for a decision on treatment (as well as getting my much desired results). This TOO is teaching me patience!!!

On the legal side of things, the man who held us up at gunpoint is finally locked away. For more info, call me and I will give you all of the juicy details:) JUSTICE!!!

Patience and understanding

So, I am learning more and more about patience and understanding each day. Today, my honey had to switch some set plans on me, due to un upcoming gig that was scheduled, even though he had asked for that day off. At first, internally, I was frustrated that I would now have to fly out alone and that plans (especially since I am a Virgo) needed to be changed. But, I took a deep breath and put myself in his shoes. He was just as frustrated as I was, if not more so. I realized that if I got upset with him, I would only be adding to his stressed and he already felt so bad. Especially since it was not his fault. I said, "honey, we will work it out. I will get you the flight information so that you can change your plans. I will come back to the airport to get you and things will just work out." He was instantly relieved. I think he felt understood by me and that everything would just be okay. I was proud of myself, because I do have the tendency to freak out without thinking first. He has taught me that...to be patient and understanding. Moreso than I have ever been. I am a grateful girl.